Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
