whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
