i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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