1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
