I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
