If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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