Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
