i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
