I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
