Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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