Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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