we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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