Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Your cock deserves a montage
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
