im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
