He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
