Whats the glycemic index on semen?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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