we have officially lost it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
