I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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