ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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