last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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