is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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