First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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