Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
