How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
