a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
