I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
