Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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