don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
