She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he puts the penis in happiness.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
