If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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