I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
