kristin has been a bad kristin
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
