belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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