I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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