He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
