apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
