People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
