i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
