I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
