i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
