If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
