Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
