I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
