My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
