I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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