I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They left me at home... I'm a liability
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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