she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
only you would photoshop your dick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize