What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
