I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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