are you still at the devil's house?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's shark week go big or go home
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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