ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize