Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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