This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
