I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My pussy is not your playground.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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