11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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