I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
