i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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