we made out on top of his cat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
