Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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