conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
