I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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