Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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