How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
