Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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