Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize