1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
