Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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