she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
