Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
