remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize