Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
