he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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