YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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