I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
